Jj is for Jottings 120.  Listening: Obstacles and Good Listening.

Following on from hearing versus listening and types of listening and nonlistening, this article will discuss listening obstacles, and tips for good listening.  They say that love makes the world go around, but I think good listening skills help it along a bit, too.

 

OBSTACLES TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING.

There are several things we have to overcome in the listening process.

1. Message Overload.  There are so many messages coming to us in the course of a day that we screen out quite a few of them. (Just like we screen our phone to avoid scams.)
2. Complexity of Messages. When a message is complicated, it’s more difficult to process and interpret.  We tend to tune out these complex messages, or we may need to hear them two or three times to interpret them correctly.  (Actually, my observation of some adults and children is that they often don’t persevere with complex messages.  When they might have worked them out after two of three hearings, they just don’t give it a chance.  Thinking is hard work!)
3. Environmental Distractions. Good listening is eliminating outside distractions so we can focus on important ones.  Of course, attention has an important part to play here, too.

For some people, visual distractions win out over listening every time.  I learned that many years ago.  If I want my husband to listen to what I am saying when the television is on, for example, I have to block his view of the screen.  If we are walking along a street and anything moves, the listening switches off and the visuals kick in.

4. Using the Wrong Modality. Related to the visual distractions mentioned above, some children try to use the visual modality  rather than the auditory modality when learning literacy.
5. This is when we are thinking or worrying about something else and simply not listening.  Good listening involves putting aside one’s preoccupations so we can listen effectively.
6. Rather than listening to the actual message, we impose our preconceptions upon the speaker.  This is clearly observable in response to questions.  You ask one question and the other person answers a different one.  In adults this is most likely a result of prejudgement, environmental distractions, preoccupation or poor hearing.  In children it may be lack of comprehension, environmental distractions, not listening/preoccupation or poor hearing.
7. Lack of Effort. Listening does take effort, and sometimes it might be better to postpone a conversation until we are able to listen properly.

 

BENEFITS OF GOOD LISTENING.

As an adult, learning how to be an effective listener has numerous advantages. Effective listening can help you become a better student and employee. It can help you become more effective in your interpersonal relationships. A good and thoughtful listener is demonstrating that they care about others.   Effective listening can also lead others to perceive you as more intelligent.  And let’s face it – you probably are.  The more you stimulate your brain by listening carefully, the more knowledgeable and perceptive you become. If you see the brain as a bucket, a good listener has poured more into the bucket and therefore has more about which to think and make connections.

EFFECTIVE LISTENING TECHNIQUES.

Here are some tips to become a more effective listener.

 

1. Be Mindful. To be an effective listener, you must be engaged throughout the communication – not just when it’s your turn!  Being engaged is largely a choice, although some people seem to find it more difficult than others.
2. Control Obstacles. Anything that is hindering your ability to listen should be controlled or eliminated.  If you have a screen in front of you, turn it off, turn it over if it’s a phone, or move away.  The television is on – turn the volume right down.  If the distraction is visual, remove it or move away from it.
3. Ask Questions. This allows you to clarify the message when there is confusion or uncertainty.  It also proves to the speaker that you are actively listening.
4. Use Aids to Remember. We can repeat part of the message to ourselves or aloud.  If we do it aloud it also serves as confirmation to the speaker that we are listening.
5. Organise Information. It is much easier to comprehend information when we categorise it and organise it into chunks.
6. Understand the Speaker’s Perspective. Effective listening is really about understanding what the other person is saying, feeling, and meaning. This means that we must step out of our own viewpoint so we can see things through the other person’s eyes.  Try to avoid judgement unless it is asked for.  Paraphrasing what the speaker has said lets them know you understand their perspective.  Or, if you have it wrong, it allows them to repair your misconception.
7. Express support. Even if we don’t agree with the other person, we can at least confirm their message, which supports them.

 

ENCOURAGE LISTENING FROM THE START.

While many of these tips are aimed at adults, you can see how many can be applied to children in some way.

Listening is so important to every aspect of our lives – I just can’t emphasise how important is really is.  From learning basic literacy and numeracy to relationships to tertiary study to employment, listening is vital.  In this increasingly visual world of screens, we need to cut out the visual props.  We also need to encourage our children to develop listening skills specifically for speech sounds, right from the very beginning.

 

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