Jj is for Jottings 124. Neuroplasticity, Power and Children.
This article follows on from the previous article on neuroplasticity and power. However, I just want to mention a couple more points before moving on to the subject of neuroplasticity, power and children. These points include people’s differing needs for power, and avoiding the negative effects of power.
NOT EVERYBODY DESIRES POWER.
People vary in their need for power. Researchers at the University of Michigan (2006) measured the need for power. They did this by rigging the results of a competition game, allocating volunteers to a winner or a loser group. High power need people responded to the rigged wins by significant drops in cortisol (the stress hormone). Losing caused increases in cortisol. This increase in cortisol also occurs when the person in power thinks they might lose their status.
Losing was much less stressful for those with lower power needs. However, cortisol levels of low power need individuals rose when they won. For them, victory was apparently stressful, which might be as simple as not wanting to stand out in the crowd.
AVOIDING THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF POWER.
Lord Acton, a British historian of the late 19th and early 20th centuries stated: “Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.” He meant that a person’s sense of morality lessens as his or her power increases.
So what can you do to avoid this happening? (I’m saying ‘you’ because it’s easier and clearer. I’m not suggesting each individual reader has problems with power.) As usual, conscious awareness of the potential for the negative effects of increasing power is vital. Then you need to have conscious awareness of your own actions in the light of this. Remembering your roots can be helpful – that you are in fact a son/daughter, husband/wife, partner, brother/sister etc. Whatever else you might happen to be – royalty, business leader, guru – you still fall into these basic, ordinary categories. According to social scientists, gratitude for people and aspects of your journey to power keeps you grounded.
Listening to people – really listening – is a quality of great leaders. It keeps them interested in other people and creates devotion in others. Leaders who remember that their power is only as good as the respect others have for them also have an easier time staying grounded.
NEUROPLASTICITY, POWER AND CHILDREN.
Where children are concerned, we need to try and strike a balance between giving them some feeling of power but not creating a monster.
Choices.
Giving children choices can be introduced very early on: “Would you like an apple or an orange?” “Would you like your apple whole or cut into quarters?” Having choices makes a child feel valued and gives them a feeling of a little power in their lives. Giving in to every whim and not following through on consequences has the opposite effect, creating unwarranted feelings of power and a sense of entitlement.
Keep Children Informed.
Keep children in the loop of what is happening in their lives. You may not always be able to give choices, but you can at least inform them of what is going on in their lives. Tell them what is about to happen, where they are going etc. – and why, if appropriate. A child would feel very powerless when they are just taken here and there without warning or explanation. Knowing in advance that “we are going to the shops to buy a special treat for Mummy’s sick friend. Then we will take the treat to Mummy’s friend and see if there is anything we can do to help her” is one thing. A quick trip to the shops, back into the car and then travelling somewhere else where mother is dismissive and pre-occupied with her friend is quite another thing. As always, communication is key.
When we consider some of the negative effects that can ensue from having power, we see that we have an important role to play. Right from the early stages of childhood, parents and other caregivers can help create “power-balanced” children.
POWER AND CHILDHOOD BULLIES.
Until recently, researchers thought there was just one type of childhood bully. This was the highly aggressive kid who had self-esteem issues which may come from a violent or neglectful home. But now, psychologists are identifying several different types of school bully. However they have one thing in common: different levels of power between the bully and the victim. The bullying behaviour may take different forms, but the difference in power is a constant. And it’s good to know that, although domestic violence and sibling aggression are risk factors, a child from these circumstances doesn’t necessarily become a bully. Attending a school with an anti-bullying program and a supportive atmosphere may help prevent this.
Different Kinds of Childhood Bully.
In recent years, researchers are finding more than one type of school bully emerging:
- The stereotype “oafish” aggressor, referred to above. (Think Crabbe and Goyle in Harry Potter.)
- A more subtle operator, who tends to have better social skills, can be charismatic and are often liked by teachers. (Think Draco Malfoy.) These children can turn their bullying on and off to suit their needs. These are socially dominant bullies who want to be the leader of the pack – by pushing others down the hierarchy.
- ‘Old-fashioned’ bullying involved repeated aggressive behaviour towards the victim. Due to a huge potential audience on social media, one instance of cyberbullying may be all that’s needed. So cyberbullying is making some researchers rethink the definition of bullying.
There is such a big crossover between school bullying and cyberbullying that they sometimes merge into one. This is partly because children often have phones with them in class, and tend to continue their harassment via social media. They’re less likely to be caught in the act but many people can view their actions, so they feel – wrongly – that they have fame. (Calli Tzani-Pepelasi, an investigative psychology lecturer at the University of Huddersfield has been researching this.)
It’s More About the Bully.
Bullying is often more about the bully than the victim, according to studies into how children feel when they bully others.
Studies of school children in Spain and Italy asked them to categorise their peers as a bully, a victim or an outsider. Researchers then asked them to respond to hypothetical bullying incidents. Children categorised as bullies were more likely to respond from their own perspective i.e. from the bully’s point of view. Some of their statements reflected self-esteem issues and the need to feel important. For example, “I would feel great because I got the attention of other children”. Other statements showed lack of empathy – “I don’t feel guilty because I don’t think about it”.
These responses tie in perfectly with findings on neuroplasticity and power in the previous article: lack of empathy and compassion; egocentricity. You can read further comments from a neuropsychologist about the effects of technology on these areas in children here and here.
And you can read about research into other effects of technology on children here .
Neuroplasticity, Power and Children. These teenagers are fighting to see who has more power.
If You Think Your Child May Be Bullying Others…
What should you do? A good first step is to find out what motivates them. “Why are you doing this? What are you getting out of it?” It could be that the school has a culture of bullying, and the child feels expected to be a bully in order to fit in.
Consider whether your own actions may be influencing your child’s. Some parents may be modelling that behaviour at home through their interpersonal style. Self-examination is not an easy thing – but whoever said raising children was easy?
The Effects of Bullying.
This is a different topic and beyond our scope. Suffice it to say that the effects are supremely negative and often lifelong.
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